Moutains

I have been "off the grid" for the last few days in the Blue Ridge Mountains! This territory is very special to me and always has been. The mountains are dynamic and powerful. I have been out of cell phone range, trying to cut back on internet time, spending time with my mama and walking through the woods. I recommend it.

As much of a city person as I am there is always a part of me that is brought to life out here that never is in the city.

I'll upload pictures when I'm back on the gri(n)d.

Yom Kippur

MY favorite holiday after my birthday just ended. Stacie spoke beautifully on their blog about the holiday of Yom Kippur including some of the important questions to think about on such a day. For many progressive and/or radical Jews the holiday can be a difficult sell. Yom Kippur is about atoning for one's sins. It is about taking away all distractions to focus on a relationship with divine based on seeking forgiveness for what wrongs we committed in this past year that qualify as sin and focusing on what we intend to do in this coming year. Many folks take issues with such a relationship with the divine and with condemning ourselves as sinners. Traditionally people fast from sundown the evening before through sundown of Yom Kippur day.

I have been doing this for many years and every year I am so hungry. I always took my hunger as part of my experience and worked so hard THROUGH my hunger to find meaning in the holiday. I was not hungry this year. I was instead heightened by not thinking about food, not thinking about my phone, about my blog, about twitter (ruby_beth), about falling in love, about sex, about what to wear and I instead spent most of my day in temple listening, chanting and reconnecting with the things I love and respect about my self and my community and the things I wish to improve upon. Wow. What a difference a day makes. I feel renewed internally and feel the beginnings of building community with the people I was in temple with. I was not condemning to myself but I was very challenging and critical of the things that I take for granted.

The unbelievably special place that my mama and I have attended high holidays services for many years in called Bet Haverim and it was founded by a small group of gay men and lesbians in the Atlanta area that could not find the type of inclusive community they were looking for in Jewish communities in Atl. It is a powerfully inclusive space and is constantly working to improve upon its mission of inclusivity.

Driven by the pleasure of community, we are a congregation that fully understands the needs of families and individuals whose history, outlook or situation means they have not felt comfortable enough in typical Jewish community environments to relax and be themselves. Alternative families, single parents, interfaith families, gays and lesbians, Jews of color, families with adopted children of color, and Jews with a progressive mindset all experience the safe haven of true acceptance at Bet Haverim.

This special place is part of why this holiday is so much more about love and understanding than it ever has been about self hatred and wrath. But really.. I mean REALLY REALLY it was about prioritizing and allowing myself time with myself with my "faults" with my joys and with my contradictions.

ciao!

I am in italia with my mama in what is definitely the biggest trip we have ever taken. We are swapping houses with a family here and are thus staying in their place for free. The website is called homelink.org use it! We did not really know what to expect. We are doing a non-simultanious exchange which means they are here right now! We are staying in an aprtment that they own down stairs from their apartment. it is perfect. the fist day we arrived they picked us up from the airport in venice and took us home! we napped and when we woke up they had made us lunch (spagetti with pomadoro (tomato) and basil) and made us sit and tell them all about ourselves and drink wine! they are already like family. That night we went to their daughter in laws birthday party and met their entire family, about 25 people who were all eating together. they are all so sweet and we have had many laughs trying to navigate italian and english and learning about each other. Their daughter is 26 and she and I have bonded over many things including but not limited to the politics of the US and amy winehouse. She is planning to come to atlanta to visit when she can. We have gone to Venice twice and it is as i have always heard.. completely breathtaking. the age of EVERYTHING is really what is getting me the most. I somehow so easily forget how young the US is and then i am here and i am hearing voices from so so long ago everywhere I turn. Went to Verona (our fair) and Elena (daughter of this wonderful family) and i rubbed the breast of the statue of Juliet.. its supposed to bring you luck in love. then we stood at "juliets" balcony marveled at everything. this place, this history.

You put the Care in Care Package

My mama sent me a package today with little hearts all over it and with chocolate covered almonds from the Farmer's Market in Atlanta inside. She was in the post office for over an hour waiting to send it and doodled on the box. She wrote fragile twice on the box and after one of the "fragiles" she wrote in little letters:

fragile...

...lives
economy
weather
relationships
stories
countries
people
bones
homes
environment




over in the corner it said, "but, you be strong!"




Mama, thank you for acknowledging and saying that it's ok to feel fragile. it makes it possible for me to feel strong..